Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize