If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
