Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize