Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
