am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
