I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
