You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
