he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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