Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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