Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
