Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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