Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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