More tranny stories later!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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