Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
