covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
