i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i dont even know how to be here
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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