I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
