I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I would ride that face into the sunset
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
