Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
