Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
