Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
