we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
no. you can't hotbox the world.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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