I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
