the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
