We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
