i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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