I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You dont lie about slip and slides
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
