btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize