no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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