I got her a Nickelback box set.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
