I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
