Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
