Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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