what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
