I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize