why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
