Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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