Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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