I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
