we have pet lesbian snakes
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
