The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
