please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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