I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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