You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
