So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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