Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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