He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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