Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just googled if crying burns calories
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
