If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
he thought i was a dude.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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