Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
operation have a gay friend backfired
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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