I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize