Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
