Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
