All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
