I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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