Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
