Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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