there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
