therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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