JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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