margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
time to smoke my breakfast
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
