the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
