I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
